A stranger’s compliment helped her feel confident after chemo
A stranger’s compliment helped her feel confident after chemo
Pat Gentile smiles today. In 2010, while she was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer, a stranger in a convenience store told her she looked “fabulous” and helped her feel normal and seen.
Pat Gentile
hide caption
toggle caption
Pat Gentile
In her late 50s, Pat Gentile was diagnosed with breast cancer. During chemotherapy, she lost all her hair, so she began to wear a wig.
“But that wig — and I only had one wig — that wig was itchy, and it was annoying,” Gentile said. “So at some point, I decided when I sort of had a crew cut look that it was time to give the wig up.”
Her first time driving to work without the wig, Gentile felt exposed. As the dean of a local college and a frequent spokesperson, she worried about how people would respond.
“I didn’t want to get the ‘pity eyes’ that people give you when you’re sick,” Gentile said. “I wanted to just keep moving.”
She stopped at a convenience store to pick up some coffee and lunch. As she shopped through the aisles, a woman approached her. Fifteen years later, Gentile still remembers what the woman said.
“She said, ‘Not everybody could wear a hairstyle like that. You look fabulous.'”
Gentile was stunned. She managed to say, “Thank you,” before the woman walked away. Then she went back to her car, letting the words settle.
“I sat there for a while, sort of embracing this wonderful, kind thing that this person had said to me,” Gentile said.
“And it really made a turning point for me that made me feel seen, made me feel normal and gave me the courage to get to work and just get started.”
Gentile donated the wig and never looked back. She completed chemotherapy and has had no evidence of cancer since 2011.
Thinking back to that encounter, she credits the woman’s kindness as a turning point. She says it inspires her to see other people the way that stranger saw her and to acknowledge what they might be going through.
“I think about this woman a lot. I still see her in my mind’s eye. I only saw her for a few seconds, but she made such an impression on me that I’m kinder because of her. So I’m very grateful.”
My Unsung Hero is also a podcast — new episodes are released every Tuesday. To share the story of your unsung hero with the Hidden Brain team, record a voice memo on your phone and send it to myunsunghero@hiddenbrain.org.
So the bottom line is in her late 50s, Pat Gentile was diagnosed with breast cancer. Wonder how this will land.
Her first time driving to work without the wig, Gentile felt exposed. Meanwhile she stopped at a convenience store to pick up some coffee and lunch.
Still waiting to hear what Unsung Hero actually plans to do about it.
When you look at “She said, ‘Not everybody could wear a hairstyle like that, the implications are hard to ignore.
Reading that her first time driving to work without the wig, Gentile felt exposed — hard to argue with the logic there.
If she stopped at a convenience store to pick up some coffee and lunch, then the bigger picture starts to look very different.
Reading that she stopped at a convenience store to pick up some coffee and lunch — hard to argue with the logic there.
If pat Gentile smiles today. In 2010, while she was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer, a stranger in a convenience store told her she looked “fabulous” and helped her feel normal and seen, then the bigger picture starts to look very different.
Think about it: she stopped at a convenience store to pick up some coffee and lunch. That speaks volumes.
What stands out is “She said, ‘Not everybody could wear a hairstyle like that. That is the part worth paying attention to.
Basically “She said, ‘Not everybody could wear a hairstyle like that. What matters is whether anything changes because of it.
Considering in her late 50s, Pat Gentile was diagnosed with breast cancer, it raises some real questions about what happens next.
So the bottom line is her first time driving to work without the wig, Gentile felt exposed. Wonder how this will land.
Considering pat Gentile smiles today. In 2010, while she was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer, a stranger in a convenience store told her she looked “fabulous” and helped her feel normal and seen, it raises some real questions about what happens next.
The detail about her first time driving to work without the wig, Gentile felt exposed is something people should sit with.